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Dianna McCullough's avatar

Hegseth is in the cabinet because he’s loyal to Trump not qualified! Alcoholism doesn’t go away just because you are elected to a position. The person needs to get help and even then it’s a trial…a long one. This shows us a solid peek at what Trump is and cares about to allow a critical position to be filled by such incompetence. What occurred was a crime - Hegseth needs to resign. No one can experience the tragedy of alcoholism better than living with one. Thank you Sabrina Haake for providing your experience that contributes to needed education.

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Hal Brown's avatar

Thank you for your self-disclosure. I am sorry to hear about what you experienced.

As you note, alcoholism is treatable as is what might be called a post-alcoholism syndrome, someone becoming a dry drunk.

Of course there isn't anybody who vets people for Trump who has any psychological sophistication. If there was in the case of Hegseth they could have warned him about this. Trump is well known to have very negative feelings about drinking supposedly due to his experience with his brother. (Perhaps this is the only aspect of his personality that shows some self-awareness.)

If he had a psychological advisor whose advice he heeded (like that would ever happen) he would have been told what he SHOULD already know about alcoholics. The promise to stop drinking coming from an alcoholic is almost always broken and frequently it is within days, if not hours, after the promise is made. It takes a huge commitment to stop drinking and often one has to hit rock bottom before they commit to a treatment program and AA.

He would have known about how many alcoholics who do manage to obtain sobriety become dry drunks. Those, like you who have had a dry drunk in their lives, know the pain their behavior causes to their loved ones and others around them.

You may know that termmdry drunk was coined by the founder of Alcoholics Anonymous. Anyone commited to AA will be helped to deal with this if they happen to be a dry drunk. Individual, couples, and family psychotherapy can also help them.

A spouse can divorce a partner who is a dry drunk, but this can be difficult and often they need therapy to see why it is a wise decision. A child can't divorce a parent who is one.

As for Hegseth, I doubt he has stopped drinking and if he has managed to pull off this amazing feat I concur in your assessement that he is mostly likely a dry drunk.

PS: Unlike Trump, you do have at least two mental health experts you listen to. ;-)

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Sabrina Haake's avatar

Thanks for your insights Hal!

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lana c's avatar

Agree, excellent article and articulation. Nothing like experience to notice such details. Kind a gets ingrained in the ol' neurons... ugh - thanks for your writing.

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Joanna Rapoza's avatar

You’re on the money. I knew it when you briefly called Kegbreath a “dry drunk” in a recent essay. Thank you for elaborating.

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Rose Mary Ciraulo's avatar

Another great article. Thank you

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Mary Blair's avatar

Thank you for naming it. I recognized his dry drunk rant of denial immediately.

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Eva Macie's avatar

Right on the money! I also grew up with an alcoholic father who, because of his job as a military officer only drank on weekends. Those were the best times to be around him as he was funny and easy to deal with, but during the week he was a punishing demanding person I feared. Great article!

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Sabrina Haake's avatar

glad to know other people have had the same experience. (not glad you had it, but that you concur, after your shared first hand experience, that drunk drunk is often better than dry drunk.) it's like Hal Brown says above, if trump had any honest advisors, they could have warned him off Hegseth. but then again, his erratic violent intentions may be exactly what trump is counting on for when he declares martial law.

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Eva Macie's avatar

I thought you would enjoy what fellow Subtract author jefftiedrich@substack.com wrote: ” a fun fact: in 2022, a bunch of conspiracy cranks sent a definitely-not-insane letter to the FAA demanding that vaccinated pilots be grounded, because reasons.

The letter argues that adverse events from vaccination would cause “a pilot (to lose) control of his aircraft” and lead to “untold devastation.” The letter offers no solid data to support its claims.

you’ll never guess who was among the brainiacs who signed the letter.

The letter was signed by seven people including Cole, cardiologist Dr. Peter McCullough, and Robert Kennedy Jr.”

I wonder if dry drunk Hegspeck was also vaccinated? LOL

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Sabrina Haake's avatar

I fucking LOVE tiedrich! I look forward to and devour his pieces like desert, with coffee.

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lana c's avatar

lol - me too - another good antidote is Randy Rainbow tunes...

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lana c's avatar

exactly - to all of that.

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Chris Perez's avatar

The responsibility is too great to leave it to an alcoholic, even if he promises to stop drinking. Hegseth could relapse, especially early in his recovery. Alcoholism is a personal battle the afflicted individual must fight, and that could be aggravated with added stress. It is so irresponsible of Donald Trump to put the man in such a position, knowing the history of alcoholism in the Trump family. And so is Fox for supporting a man with a drinking problem. We are definitely living in dangerous times.

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Sabrina Haake's avatar

I totally agree, Hegseth poses a direct threat to US armed forces and should be gone, but in a rational decision he never would have been given that role to begin with. An honorable man would resign, but I know alcoholism well enough to know that will never happen. Hegseth, even if he keeps his vow while in office, will remain in angry and aggressive poor me victim mode for years.

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Natalie Baker's avatar

The U.S. Senate is not an innocent bystander. More than a mere enabler of Hegseth's reprehensible conduct - which was entirely predictable, even guaranteed - the Senate owns dereliction of the Constitutional duty regarding "Advice and Consent." With this confirmation they proved that they have zero regard for the safety and security of those that are charged with protecting the nation and, in turn, the citizenry.

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Sabrina Haake's avatar

totally correct. the problem is Americans' rampant amnesia. if 90 million people didn't bother to vote, even after they saw trump try to overthrow the election on J6, I'm not sure they'll remember senate confirmations.

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Natalie Baker's avatar

Agreed, but they will come to better understand the acronym YOYO - You're On Your Own - rather than MAGA when there is no social security, medicaid or medicare (just for openers); although a draconian way for this portion of electorate to learn why government matters, we have to start somewhere.

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Eric Chaffee's avatar

Trump will likely throw "advisor" Walz under the bus for inviting a journalist into a less-than-secret chat — when he should ax them both — but Hegseth is a loyal yes-man with his finger on the trigger, ready to send troops against protesters, when Grump sez Jump.

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Sabrina Haake's avatar

completely agree. as I see it, trump is trying to provoke people who aren't maga, hoping for violent protests so he can declare martial law. it's not if but when.

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Hal Brown's avatar

I have predicted this in several of my Substacks.

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Hal Brown's avatar

In my Substack today I wrote (somewhat tongue-in-cheek) that he will try to blame it all on Jeffrey Goldberg. He;s already trying to see if he can pull this of this gaslighting when, of course, Goldberg is the hero in all of this. I wrote: "Could Trump and Patel put Jeffrey Goldberg on the FBI 10 Most Wanted List?" https://halbrown.substack.com/p/could-trump-and-patel-put-jeffrey

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Sabrina Haake's avatar

I read your substack. good work!

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Kassi's avatar

Alcoholic step dad for me…he was a miserable human being, but as a white, college educated man in the 1950’s, he became very successful in business. The 2 or 3 martini lunches at the Club turned him into a raging lunatic by 5:00 pm when he came home. I knew martini’s made him dangerous, scotch made him full of self pity and zero drinks made him rage into the night. Pete Hegseth puts me right back in that house when I was 8 years old, hiding in my bedroom closet. There is not enough therapy in the world that can erase the damage these men do to people closest to them…drunk or sober.

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Breizhfan's avatar

Wow. That was sobering. I had not heard of the term "dry drunk" until recently. And I wasn't sure exactly what it meant. Thank you for this very clear definition. It explains everything about Hegseth's behavior.

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Debbie Davis's avatar

Excellent article. But as a retired teacher, I feel a need to point out that it's spelled "cuckoo", not "coocoo"!

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Sabrina Haake's avatar

Thanks! fixed.

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Joanna Rapoza's avatar

Maybe “coup-coup” ?

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Eva Macie's avatar

It is unfortunate that you felt the need to correct her. I understood her intent. She is a talented writer who crafted a fantastic article with expressive descriptions.

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Sabrina Haake's avatar

I always appreciate constructive criticism, esp when it's something so stupid as spelling. feedback that lets me know someone is reading- that I'm not standing at the edge of a canyon yelling to myself- is always good.

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Malcolm J McKinney's avatar

Sometimes it is auto- corrected before you catch it.

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longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

Sometimes, but my experience with spelling corrections and AI is that the programs doing the corrections are not familiar with a well-educated person's vocabulary.

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Derek's avatar

I think a psychiatrist spoke about George W. Bush in a similar vein back in the day. He didn't drink alcohol, and I seem to remember the psychiatrist saying that just not drinking doesn't make the mindset of the alcoholic go away, or make it any less dangerous. I believe this to be true.

I think if you go to AA, or get an addiction counselor or whatever, you do need some form of psychological discussion or therapy—because it's a mind-body thing.

Also, in today's world, you are on—or can be on—"The Alcohol Spectrum." And that's like any spectrum: a line in the sky, and you move your dot up and down depending on usage, mindset, and awareness.

Personally, I think there’s one rule that’s real easy and understood by all:

"One drink is too many. And a thousand, not enough."

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Glenn McLaren's avatar

Great insight. Let's hope that his reaction to his metaphorical cuckoo clock isn't a nuclear attack.

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Sabrina Haake's avatar

the unsaid, lurking horror is that these clowns could end the world with one drunk push of a red button

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Hank Napkin's avatar

Since similar experiences with my dad -- accompanied by enduring physical and psychological harm -- I have always lobbied for the need to license parents. I mean, just look at the damage Fred and Ethel did to their boy Donny!

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Sabrina Haake's avatar

I agree. I'm in animal advocacy and I'd like to license dog adoptions as well. too many idiots take their disappointments out on children and animals.

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Hank Napkin's avatar

Excellent point! Many years ago my parents sat our Golden, Maisie, for just two days. It took her a week to stop shaking once we got her home again.

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Sabrina Haake's avatar

that's a terrible thing to ponder. animal abuse, imho, is the worst thing about humans.

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David Gibbons's avatar

Thank you Sabrina for your excellent report. I relate to you and your experience. God Bless Us All and God Bless America.

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