Amen to what I consider is a serious problem - lack of human communication! That’s not all though, but it is a big contributor. The Information Age they call it, but convenient and attractive as all the progress is (look at these amazing watches) clearly there’s a downfall and loneliness is one of them - if you let it. Oh, I love having a computer, though it does irritate me at times, but to be so addicted you’ve left normal activity and communicating with people is beyond being healthy. I do wonder if we are drifting too far from who we are supposed to be - a human being!
Unfortunately they are afraid or scared to death to put the mobile apparatus down , most likely thinking if they did this it would be the end. The older generation has failed to make them see and understand the need for face to face relationships. If you go to say McDonald's , look there could be 5 or 6 of them sitting at the same table working their phones, NOT talking to one another, no interaction at all unless they are playing a game against each other- the interaction with the medium is instant where as making a one to one relationship work takes effort, effort they seem not to want to undertake and we have no one to blame except us the order generation because, we were weak and instead of saying NO we capitulated allowing them to get hooked on this artificial interaction , right now we have no means to change back and with AI evolving it is just going to get worse
Thanks Sabrina - and to the other commenters. All of this is seems correct and part of the problem, but based on my dealings with unengaged folk who don't vote, they shrug and say what's the point? Neither political party has done anything about the obscene and growing wealth gap, which lies at the root of much that ails this country (and world). The late Tony Judt, in his prescient 2010 book "Ill Fares the Land," quoted Oliver Goldsmith's words from 1770: "Ill fares the land, to hastening ills a prey, where wealth accumulates, and men decay."
And, sir, to make it worse, if you DO have someone who MIGHT be willing to step in and make a difference in a positive way, they would very probably be extremely reluctant to do that.
That's due to the media meat grinder that both sides run.
For example, someone does something as a youth that was indiscreet and foolish. Even if they ADMIT to it, and explain it, it does not keep the media from taking a grain of sand and turning it into a boulder.
And then you have the people who are WILLING to play fair and honestly, and get dismissed by the media because they're boring. The media thrives on controversy, because it helps them sell cars, drugs, and beer. And they're in the business of making money.
The facts and the truth are BORING, for most people. So, we'll end up like Rome. Weakened enough within that a barbarian can come to power over us.
Anyone who can read the numbers knows: this was NOT a mandate, it was a razor-thin win which carries no thrust, no benefits, only a very slight head start. NOW is the time to attack, when his “mandate” is so thin, so pale. He is beatable. But it takes steadfastness.
Yes. People call us boomers, as if we all think, act, believe the same. Baloney. My life "style" is anathema to my entire high school class. I don't live like them.
An entire generation on-line has no comprehension of what and who is opening their "email", tracking them, and subtlety, pernitiously, persuading them to give up.
I had started a profoundly existential post. Unfortunately, the post was lost. What follows will have to suffice. I mentioned the 60's move "David and Lisa" as a seminal work touching on communication. The characters communicated in Rhyme. It is likely I will spend an eternity in Purgatory amid the rhymes of David and Lisa. I am not making light of loneliness. Loneliness is real. I just prefer to focus my energy on
I had a good time growing up in the Bronx. I'm a product of a loving immigrant family. We were not affluent by any stretch, and throwing rocks at an abandoned building with my friends was a fun thing to do. As we grew up, pick-up games of stickball, softball, and basketball took the place of rock throwing. It was socialization in the purest sense because we had to develop the odd or even finger choose to settle disputes and move the games forward. I pity today's youth for opting to find company in an electronic device. I'm often told to stop living in the past, and I try to heed the advice. But my experience has nurtured decades-old friendships that have influenced my politics and view of the world. I have never felt lonely, although I cherish moments alone to read or think things through. What Sabrina points out in her research can be considered a threat to our national security if the number of eligible voters doesn't vote due to loneliness, allowing for insanity to dominate our politics. We must address mental health issues, and we can start by having lonely people throw a few rocks at a vacant building. It worked for me.
My family was not immigrants, but my parents spoiled me (at least) intellectually. We never had a tv set, so we read, built with Lincoln logs, played games. I've never been lonely, that I can remember. My best friends live in other states now, but I talk with neighbors and passersby while I'm working in my yard. I always talk to store clerks, and when I was a customer service representative we always had something to talk about (weather, gardening), I even got to know people I rode the bus with and we had lots to say to each other. I think computers and tv in excess are dangerous, and if people are lonely, they should try reading and saying hello to other people.
Ellen, you describe the essence of a full life, or at least the path to one. Sadly, so many among us are not able to do the same because of a mental condition. And the saddest thing of all is an administration that ignores this tragedy. It will take citizens with the mental fortitude to wait out Trump and return the government to sanity. So, it is a matter of national security because we can't allow the patients to run the asylum. TO HONOR TRUMP WITH A PARADE IS AN ABOMINATION, yet here we are.
Yes, and I say, say hello to everyone, even security guards. I even buy a little something for the security guard at my neighborhood bakery. Remember, they don't get paid very much (and we're living on Social Security.) Waste not, want not, and you'll be okay... My parents' lifestyle, and ours too!
Interesting. Not for a minute would I want to give up the convenience of online voting and mail-in ballots but voting “in the old days” was like a secular rite or liturgy - standing in line and voting in community in schools, fire stations, church halls - a sort of “participation mystique.” An inherently “anti-loneliness” activity. - there you are, Republicans, Democrats, Independents, all brought together - kind of like all going to the communion rail, a visceral reminder that we’re all Americans. I’m a committed Democrat and I admit in close elections to eyeing the voters asking for a Republican ballot with an internal sigh that my vote is about to be “cancelled out.” 🤣 As I am about to return the favor and that, too, affirms our commonality. I also confess to always reflecting when I vote on the fact that people died for my right to do so - I’m not normally given to “sappy” patriotism. But there it is and I am also aware that, due to voter repression, many of my fellow citizens face obstacles that I do not. So voting is in that sense for me a way of “raging against the machine.” My friends with children make a point of voting in person and bringing their children with him. A ritual that is lost in the online era.
So perhaps we can take now a moment and show our appreciation for Sir and his willful ability to display before us -- in its completely disturbing nudity -- just how awful and invasive the Federal Government can be made to be. Sir is the wake-up call and we now united millions need be sleeperwalkers no more.
This is a lot to think about. Loneliness is complex. The word can have different meanings. It can be very different from being alone at times, which at its best, is a growth experience. I knew the humanist psychologist Clark Moustakas who wrote the 1961 book "Loneliness" which was popular when I was in college. Here's a quote: "Let there be loneliness, for where there is loneliness, there is also love, and where there is suffering, there is also joy." Obviously, this is not the kind of loneliness which involves alienation and detachment from meaningful relationships.
Fulfilling relationships require empathy and both self-awareness and self-disclosure. Achieving a life with such relationships has always been hard for many people, and some people just don't want to have these kinds of relationships for whatever reason. This is tragically true in all too many people of all ages today but is exacerbated by social media in Gen Z.
I haven't seen "Just Add Water" but based on what you describe this is my reaction:
The sad, embarrassing, and anguished sounding loneliness you describe that the director put into the film, based on her own experiences, seems to be an example of how someone was unable to turn the experience of being alone into a positive. Her inability to connect with people at what, too facilely perhaps, I call a genuine level, is as you note all too common these days. Some people do this with ease, for others it involves risk taking and effort but they do it despite this, and for another very large group of the disengaged of that Gen Z group, social media makes it all to easy to fall into constructed and imaginary relationships. If those relationships, or better to call them interactions, become difficult there's little investment nor is there incentive to work out conflicts when it is so easy to unfriend someone.
You note the study showing that lonely individuals are more inclined to engage in risk-taking behaviors, which may explain why, for those who did vote, Trump’s J6 attempted coup may not have deterred them. This could be at a Trump ralley too. I interpret this as an example of a kind of other-directedness where a certain kind of lonely person feels less lonely because they feel they are an important part of an angry alienated group. They probably don't experience the feeling of alienation. This requires introspection which most of them lack.
I do not feel lonely. I do not feel alienated. do feel angry. However, like the MAGAs I feel empowered and less alone when I got to a protest. This is very different.
The people who relate mostly or exclusively online think they have friends but they really don't. On the other hand, this isn't always the case. For example, I met you online through this Substack and now we consider each other to be real friends even though we haven't met in person, at least not yet... :)
Why can't the democrats take responsibility for no one voting for them. It is not covid, it is quite simple. For most of us there is not a reason to vote for Democrats. They have become self-serving grifters deep in the pockets of all lobbyists. They legislate for the lobbyists who pay them NOT the voters who put them in office. They conveniently forget the oath of their office as soon as they take it. So where or what is a reason to vote for them?
Have you confused the Democrats with t and his followers? My former congresswoman, Barbara Lee, represented me incredibly accurately. And I'm just as pleased with her successor, Lateefah Simon. I have some problems with my senators and especially my local state representatives and city council members and mayor who are, indeed, deep in the pockets of the developers, but I've never voted for them. I always vote for their opposition.
Apologies. My last thought was to focus energy on the positive realms of making my Laptop, Simone, sentient without the interference of AI. Hence Planet TommyN. Communities are the warriors against loneliness. TN
It also occurs to me that 2024 election was after four years of covid (what I think of as covidius society interruptus)
Amen to what I consider is a serious problem - lack of human communication! That’s not all though, but it is a big contributor. The Information Age they call it, but convenient and attractive as all the progress is (look at these amazing watches) clearly there’s a downfall and loneliness is one of them - if you let it. Oh, I love having a computer, though it does irritate me at times, but to be so addicted you’ve left normal activity and communicating with people is beyond being healthy. I do wonder if we are drifting too far from who we are supposed to be - a human being!
Unfortunately they are afraid or scared to death to put the mobile apparatus down , most likely thinking if they did this it would be the end. The older generation has failed to make them see and understand the need for face to face relationships. If you go to say McDonald's , look there could be 5 or 6 of them sitting at the same table working their phones, NOT talking to one another, no interaction at all unless they are playing a game against each other- the interaction with the medium is instant where as making a one to one relationship work takes effort, effort they seem not to want to undertake and we have no one to blame except us the order generation because, we were weak and instead of saying NO we capitulated allowing them to get hooked on this artificial interaction , right now we have no means to change back and with AI evolving it is just going to get worse
Thanks Sabrina - and to the other commenters. All of this is seems correct and part of the problem, but based on my dealings with unengaged folk who don't vote, they shrug and say what's the point? Neither political party has done anything about the obscene and growing wealth gap, which lies at the root of much that ails this country (and world). The late Tony Judt, in his prescient 2010 book "Ill Fares the Land," quoted Oliver Goldsmith's words from 1770: "Ill fares the land, to hastening ills a prey, where wealth accumulates, and men decay."
Those who don't understand history are doomed to repeat it. This has never been about voter apathy. Fellow substacker Greg Pahas done the definitive work on the subject: https://sdvoice.info/trump-lost-vote-suppression-won-here-are-the-numbers/
And, sir, to make it worse, if you DO have someone who MIGHT be willing to step in and make a difference in a positive way, they would very probably be extremely reluctant to do that.
That's due to the media meat grinder that both sides run.
For example, someone does something as a youth that was indiscreet and foolish. Even if they ADMIT to it, and explain it, it does not keep the media from taking a grain of sand and turning it into a boulder.
And then you have the people who are WILLING to play fair and honestly, and get dismissed by the media because they're boring. The media thrives on controversy, because it helps them sell cars, drugs, and beer. And they're in the business of making money.
The facts and the truth are BORING, for most people. So, we'll end up like Rome. Weakened enough within that a barbarian can come to power over us.
Anyone who can read the numbers knows: this was NOT a mandate, it was a razor-thin win which carries no thrust, no benefits, only a very slight head start. NOW is the time to attack, when his “mandate” is so thin, so pale. He is beatable. But it takes steadfastness.
Yes. People call us boomers, as if we all think, act, believe the same. Baloney. My life "style" is anathema to my entire high school class. I don't live like them.
An entire generation on-line has no comprehension of what and who is opening their "email", tracking them, and subtlety, pernitiously, persuading them to give up.
I had started a profoundly existential post. Unfortunately, the post was lost. What follows will have to suffice. I mentioned the 60's move "David and Lisa" as a seminal work touching on communication. The characters communicated in Rhyme. It is likely I will spend an eternity in Purgatory amid the rhymes of David and Lisa. I am not making light of loneliness. Loneliness is real. I just prefer to focus my energy on
I had a good time growing up in the Bronx. I'm a product of a loving immigrant family. We were not affluent by any stretch, and throwing rocks at an abandoned building with my friends was a fun thing to do. As we grew up, pick-up games of stickball, softball, and basketball took the place of rock throwing. It was socialization in the purest sense because we had to develop the odd or even finger choose to settle disputes and move the games forward. I pity today's youth for opting to find company in an electronic device. I'm often told to stop living in the past, and I try to heed the advice. But my experience has nurtured decades-old friendships that have influenced my politics and view of the world. I have never felt lonely, although I cherish moments alone to read or think things through. What Sabrina points out in her research can be considered a threat to our national security if the number of eligible voters doesn't vote due to loneliness, allowing for insanity to dominate our politics. We must address mental health issues, and we can start by having lonely people throw a few rocks at a vacant building. It worked for me.
My family was not immigrants, but my parents spoiled me (at least) intellectually. We never had a tv set, so we read, built with Lincoln logs, played games. I've never been lonely, that I can remember. My best friends live in other states now, but I talk with neighbors and passersby while I'm working in my yard. I always talk to store clerks, and when I was a customer service representative we always had something to talk about (weather, gardening), I even got to know people I rode the bus with and we had lots to say to each other. I think computers and tv in excess are dangerous, and if people are lonely, they should try reading and saying hello to other people.
Ellen, you describe the essence of a full life, or at least the path to one. Sadly, so many among us are not able to do the same because of a mental condition. And the saddest thing of all is an administration that ignores this tragedy. It will take citizens with the mental fortitude to wait out Trump and return the government to sanity. So, it is a matter of national security because we can't allow the patients to run the asylum. TO HONOR TRUMP WITH A PARADE IS AN ABOMINATION, yet here we are.
Yes, and I say, say hello to everyone, even security guards. I even buy a little something for the security guard at my neighborhood bakery. Remember, they don't get paid very much (and we're living on Social Security.) Waste not, want not, and you'll be okay... My parents' lifestyle, and ours too!
Let’s not forget that voter suppression is real and partly responsible.
Interesting. Not for a minute would I want to give up the convenience of online voting and mail-in ballots but voting “in the old days” was like a secular rite or liturgy - standing in line and voting in community in schools, fire stations, church halls - a sort of “participation mystique.” An inherently “anti-loneliness” activity. - there you are, Republicans, Democrats, Independents, all brought together - kind of like all going to the communion rail, a visceral reminder that we’re all Americans. I’m a committed Democrat and I admit in close elections to eyeing the voters asking for a Republican ballot with an internal sigh that my vote is about to be “cancelled out.” 🤣 As I am about to return the favor and that, too, affirms our commonality. I also confess to always reflecting when I vote on the fact that people died for my right to do so - I’m not normally given to “sappy” patriotism. But there it is and I am also aware that, due to voter repression, many of my fellow citizens face obstacles that I do not. So voting is in that sense for me a way of “raging against the machine.” My friends with children make a point of voting in person and bringing their children with him. A ritual that is lost in the online era.
Whatever the opposite of loneliness is it's overrated.
So perhaps we can take now a moment and show our appreciation for Sir and his willful ability to display before us -- in its completely disturbing nudity -- just how awful and invasive the Federal Government can be made to be. Sir is the wake-up call and we now united millions need be sleeperwalkers no more.
This is a lot to think about. Loneliness is complex. The word can have different meanings. It can be very different from being alone at times, which at its best, is a growth experience. I knew the humanist psychologist Clark Moustakas who wrote the 1961 book "Loneliness" which was popular when I was in college. Here's a quote: "Let there be loneliness, for where there is loneliness, there is also love, and where there is suffering, there is also joy." Obviously, this is not the kind of loneliness which involves alienation and detachment from meaningful relationships.
Fulfilling relationships require empathy and both self-awareness and self-disclosure. Achieving a life with such relationships has always been hard for many people, and some people just don't want to have these kinds of relationships for whatever reason. This is tragically true in all too many people of all ages today but is exacerbated by social media in Gen Z.
I haven't seen "Just Add Water" but based on what you describe this is my reaction:
The sad, embarrassing, and anguished sounding loneliness you describe that the director put into the film, based on her own experiences, seems to be an example of how someone was unable to turn the experience of being alone into a positive. Her inability to connect with people at what, too facilely perhaps, I call a genuine level, is as you note all too common these days. Some people do this with ease, for others it involves risk taking and effort but they do it despite this, and for another very large group of the disengaged of that Gen Z group, social media makes it all to easy to fall into constructed and imaginary relationships. If those relationships, or better to call them interactions, become difficult there's little investment nor is there incentive to work out conflicts when it is so easy to unfriend someone.
You note the study showing that lonely individuals are more inclined to engage in risk-taking behaviors, which may explain why, for those who did vote, Trump’s J6 attempted coup may not have deterred them. This could be at a Trump ralley too. I interpret this as an example of a kind of other-directedness where a certain kind of lonely person feels less lonely because they feel they are an important part of an angry alienated group. They probably don't experience the feeling of alienation. This requires introspection which most of them lack.
I do not feel lonely. I do not feel alienated. do feel angry. However, like the MAGAs I feel empowered and less alone when I got to a protest. This is very different.
The people who relate mostly or exclusively online think they have friends but they really don't. On the other hand, this isn't always the case. For example, I met you online through this Substack and now we consider each other to be real friends even though we haven't met in person, at least not yet... :)
Why can't the democrats take responsibility for no one voting for them. It is not covid, it is quite simple. For most of us there is not a reason to vote for Democrats. They have become self-serving grifters deep in the pockets of all lobbyists. They legislate for the lobbyists who pay them NOT the voters who put them in office. They conveniently forget the oath of their office as soon as they take it. So where or what is a reason to vote for them?
Have you confused the Democrats with t and his followers? My former congresswoman, Barbara Lee, represented me incredibly accurately. And I'm just as pleased with her successor, Lateefah Simon. I have some problems with my senators and especially my local state representatives and city council members and mayor who are, indeed, deep in the pockets of the developers, but I've never voted for them. I always vote for their opposition.
Apologies. My last thought was to focus energy on the positive realms of making my Laptop, Simone, sentient without the interference of AI. Hence Planet TommyN. Communities are the warriors against loneliness. TN
History of a word, excerpted from my poem, Our Wholeness:
I am one, and you are one, and one plus one is two.
But only One is real, says math. All else is fractions,
split, divided. The Whole is holy, wholey complete, entire,
One, which cannot be undone, divided:
Alone originally spel’t and said allone.
~eric. https://meridagoround.com/poem-our-wholeness/